So, I've been here now for a while, and the layers of apathy and hardened heart that I had built up over the years are coming away, and it's almost strange to be happy for a change, and to be like, really happy.
Unfortunately, the side effect to that is when depression strikes, I no longer have that armor, and it gets..... Weird.
I was sitting in Hunger games last night, and I actually managed to cry through the entire movie. It just struck me as sad, and I'm sitting there, having been pretty thoroughly drunk earlier in the day, actually crying in a movie.
I thought maybe it was just a powerful movie, and it had reached even my hardened heart, also the bottomless mimosas didn't hurt.
Then I started crying during Doctor Who earlier tonight, I'm guessing the issue is me and not a sudden string of heartwarming writing. I actually sobbed during Doctor Who and I couldn't actually tell you why, or what was going on.
These random floods of emotion are kinda strange, thankfully my plan for the holiday weekend is to hole up in my room and not interact with people, so maybe I can make it through this episode without too much embarrassment.
I started dating this girl, kinda, I don't know what it is, she said she doesn't know what she wants and I respect that, though I hope she figures it out. Even if it's not me that she wants, I'd rather know than not. But for the moment I wake up to her in bed sometimes and I sleep better when she's there. In the grand scheme of everyday it's a small thing that some mornings means everything.